


Pulverizing Healer

by Enchantedtalisman



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, M/M, Medic Nin Uzumaki Naruto, Relationship will be when Naruto is eighteen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchantedtalisman/pseuds/Enchantedtalisman
Summary: If someone had asked Naruto yesterday what he thought of the more complex or less flashy ninja arts he would say they were boring or like medical jutsu; cool but not for him. Because he wasn't going to be in the back lines healing people while everyone else got to use flashy jutsu.At least, that's what he thinks he would have said. But today's sort of making his head spin. First all his chakra control training (so many many leaves went out to the cause and he even got got Iruka-sensei, who had finally caved, to start teaching him tree walking, though he could only do it for ten minutes at a standstill before his chakra was disrupted) had allowed him to eek out passable (barely) Bunshin. And he still held onto the headband like it was a venomous snake ready to attack.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to figure out what exactly I wanna write and later read in a fic is really frustrating.

If someone had asked Naruto yesterday what he thought of the more complex or less flashy ninja arts he would say they were _boring_ or like medical jutsu; cool but not for him. Because he wasn't going to be in the back lines healing people while everyone else got to use flashy jutsu.

At least, that's what he thinks he would have said. But today's sort of making his head spin. First all his chakra control training (so many many leaves went out to the cause and he even got Iruka-sensei, who had finally caved, to start teaching him tree walking, though he could only do it for ten minutes at a standstill before his chakra was disrupted) had allowed him to eek out _passable_ (barely) Bunshin. And he still held onto the headband like it was a venomous snake ready to attack.

Which is why no one gives him trouble after school and he gets into the large crowds near the village enterance all the way to the hospital.

"Senju-Sama is said to be as good at healing as her grandfather, the First Hookage, maybe better." A parent is telling a little girl that's way shorter than Naruto.

The pang of envy is there but he's more distracted by who this Senju person is. He didn't even know the First could heal, much less that there was someone alive who could do something better than him.

"I think she can also pulverize a mountain with one well placed fist," Another adult says, and giggles in tandem with the adult that spoke first when the kids near their legs 'ooo' and 'ahhhh'.

It takes a while for Naruto to find the woman they're speaking of. At first he thinks it's the black haired teenager? standing beside the blonde woman who's got more rage than Sakura and Ino combined. But everyone had spoken of Senju enough that Naruto knows _Tsunade_ is her first name--which means the blonde is the grandaughter?

"So weird." Naruto tilts his head and stares. But he's also trying to figure out how...Such a woman could pulverize mountains _and_ heal the dead (so the stories have started going beyond the hospital and getting distorted). But the way everyone pays attention to her. It makes Naruto _want_.

Which is why Naruto is happy to have found the woman. Even better the yelling seems to cause the crowd to disperse. But. He's scared, suddenly. This woman is stronger than old man Hokage if she can heal better than her Grandpa, but he _has_ to ask doesn't he?

The Old man won't even entertain the idea of Naruto being his latest genin (and getting _that_ information out of Iruka Sensei had been almost the death of Naruto; no pranks for two whole months, on top of the no pranks for two months for the chakra control excercises), how else is Naruto supposed to show the village that he's _good_ and strong other than Hokage? Being a medic.

So, shoring up his heaving emotions, Naruto starts walking to the pair of women. Thankfully Tsunade....sama? Yes Naruto has to speak to her diligently. He can be rude if she's as much of a shit as the villagers, but he needs this training; Tsunade-sama has stopped yelling and is more focused on her...daughter? Cousin? Naruto has no idea.

They both notice him, and of course they do they sound like the _coolest shinobi_ , "Aye, Brat what are you doing here--" Tsunade-sama pauses when her eyes meet Naruto's. Then she looks him up and down, a strange expression fluttering on her face when she sees the headband in his hands.

"Are you lost?" The other woman asks with a kindly smile.

Naruto blushes and tries not to cry, the crowd wasn't lying about how nice Shizune-sama is. He thinks that's her name right? It has to be the same person with kind smile and gentle voice. "N-no. I...just graduated see." He quickly continues because he knows how people act when they think Naruto is bragging, "and I'm the odd genin out this year and...please let me become a mountain destroying medic like you!" Naruto quickly bows, which of course makes him face plant straight to the ground.

There's silence above him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Get off the floor brat," Tsunade says but it sounds kinder than her earlier _brat_ , almost affectionate.

Naruto really doesn't want too. He's pretty embarrassed--two new strangers that don't immediately call him the demon brat (okay there's still the brat but he thinks that might just a Tsunade thing)and he's already made a fool of himself.

"Tsunade-sama, perhaps." Shizune says and Naruto peeks through his bangs. She's holding out a lollipop of all things.

Tsunade looks like she wants to roll her eyes but she glances back at Naruto, seeming to gaze at him in a way that's mournful and angry at the same time (it makes Naruto quickly duck his head back and try to get into a proper bow because he really had tried, he can't lose this one chance already). "Here brat," Tsunade pushes the lollipop into his hair, it's only the wrapper that stops the thing from making a mess of Naruto's locks.

Naruto sits up and catches the lollipop before it falls to the ground; confused, nervous, and admittedly ready to cry. Sure they're strangers and it was a bribe to get him off the ground but there have been adults who _hadn't_ bribed him with treats before. His hand unclenches around the headband still between his fingers and grabs the lollipop reverently.

"An Uzumaki wanting to be a healer huh?" Tsunade murmurs and her lips twitch.

Another jolt, they do know him? But they aren't treating him like dirt. Naruto is _very_ confused, which only makes not crying all the harder. Then her words penetrate, "There's other Uzumaki?"

This time the anger is clear to see and Naruto is admittedly too scared to move; worried that _this_ is how he's going to die. From a strange healer who's related to the First Hokage.

"There was, once. There might be, somewhere outside the village. Hard to say, kid." Tsunade's suddenly kneeling and pulling Naruto up, "Enough cowering, Uzumaki don't cower." She starts dusting him off and yet still she's frowning. "If you want my power you're going to have to train hard. And I'm not giving it to some brat who thinks all there is to it is destroying mountains." A look of exasperated regret is on her face after stating that.

"Tsunade-sama shouldn't have gotten drunk and destroyed a mountain range then," Shizune mutters behind her darkly.

Their eyes meet in a death defying glare.

Once again that weird tension of death and killing desire fills the air, but it's almost...comforting? No not comforting like when Naruto takes the familiar path to school, like a well worn trail.

Either way they stop, thankfully for Naruto's bladder which is starting to ache from the need to release in fear, and Tsunade stands up, "Alright brat, show me what you know."

  
  


And that's how Naruto starts his path to becoming a medic. It's not as exciting as Naruto would like to share with others later, but he's just relieved in that moment to be finally accepted.

Of course, when they come to a training ground and Tsunade-sama drills him on all his taijutsu, chakra control, reflexes, speed, and natural muscle tone he _almost_ regrets it. (almost because this is the first time a teacher's focused so much on him; even Shizune helps, healing the aches and pains and giving him advice while Tsunade is distracted by shinobi who are clearly medic-nin coming from the hospital and leaving again).

No Academy exercise has ever left Naruto feeling wrung out. Oh, there's times that Naruto doesn't get it no matter how much practice he does. Or the times when Sasuke-bastard throws him into the dirt harder than necessary and his nose feels on the verge of breaking, but this isn't something he's not getting or Tsunade-sama being too hard on him. It's actual _training_ from a master.

In fact the more Naruto gets up, gets into position, listens intently the slower Tsunade-sama goes. The less she focuses on the shinobi coming to her for who knows what, and the more she pays attention to Naruto. Her eyes are equal parts warm and hard. Her strikes go from supersonic, and impossible to see in time, to much slower and Naruto picks up on the way her muscles flex, the chakra building up in her muscles and coalescing into her fingers and hands.

Even at such a slow speed her punch still sends Naruto tumbling across the ground.

"You're a sensor type," Tsunade says, sounding surprised, "Considering how much chakra you have it's amazing that you can sense anything outside of your own pool." She tilts her head, pigtails swinging back and forth, "I believe we can come to some sort of arrangement. But it wont' be easy kid. Your taijutsu is abysmal, your reflexes aren't half bad but they need to be better, and your chakra control wouldn't be able to save a snail from dying let's not even talk about humans."

It's a sort of weird mix of criticism and praise. Naruto's normally one to get huffy when it comes to criticism but it doesn't _sound_ like Tsunade is making fun of him. He listens desperately waiting with bated breath when she stops talking.

"I'm going to train you so hard you're no doubt going to have second thoughts. But you back down and you won't ever get a second chance with me, so, are you ready to become an apprentice?" Tsunade asks with steel in her voice.

Naruto's hardly going to say no, in fact he yells, "YES! BEST DAY EVER! I'm going to be the strongest medic-nin ever! Better than you, better than the First, just you see Tsunade-sama!"

Shizune starts laughing.

A heavy sigh escapes Tsunade and she leans one hip to the side, staring at Naruto spinning around the training ground yelling over and over about becoming better than Tsunade and her grandpa. "The things I do for Kushina-chan," she says.

It's only by chance that Naruto hears, and he has no idea who Kushina-chan is but he silently thanks her for convincing Tsunade to make him her apprentice.

 _Just you watch Kushina! I won't fail here!_ Naruto mentally shouts, and for a moment he swears he feels an odd warmth around his shoulders. and the scent of the sea.


	3. Chapter 3

After that first training session, Tsunade-sama does _not_ hold back. The odd regeneration that Naruto has always had finds it hard to keep up and yet he feels all the better for it. Because finally, _finally_ , he's learning.

Unfortunately training isn't just all physical; there's fine tuning chakra which starts with tree-walking, water walking (something that leaves Naruto soaked and unable to do said walking at all for the first few sessions), and chakra sensing which for Uzumaki and some shinobi an inborn trait, but thanks to Naruto's large reserves his inborn trait needs to be exercised which is apparently _another_ form of chakra control, sort of like sending out a very thin spider web out into the world. So far Naruto has destroyed half of Training Grounds Eleven twice. ("You're lucky I'm a Senju kid," Tsunade had muttered once and with a ridiculous amount of skill made the terrain of broken and pitted earth back to a smooth surface of rock and dirt once more)

And _then_ there's studying books and scrolls with Shizune-san who is quick to figure out that Naruto's not the best of readers and take over from Tsunade who's clearly just someone who's _really good_ at their particular field. Things she explains once go over Naruto's head, but Shizune is comfortable explaining to Naruto why cells divide three times before he gets it, and she _never_ yells or hisses at him about it. It's a novel experience.

Before long Naruto doesn't even realize he's read an entire book worth of medical information and is going onto the second; but he does notice the more physical aspects, he can stand on water for a few seconds without falling in. His eyes, reflexes, and taijustu are all faster and better. He can actually _dodge_ some of Tsunade-sama's attacks.

Days pass like this and Naruto almost forgets that he's a Genin now and what that entails. Tsunade-sensei never mentions missions, but she _does_ give Naruto and Shizune work at the Hospital every few days. At ten, verging on eleven, Naruto has never been more bored in his life. But he still does the work and Shizune is as always patient and quick to curtail his boredom by showing him _why_ the information is important.

"How would you know your patient has the risk of stroke if you didn't have this?" Shizune asks holding up a ridiculously thick sheet of papers with one of their elderly clients.

Naruto frowns and glares at the sheets of paper. He might not be the top of his class, or well he _hadn't_ been top of the class, but he's starting to learn that the way he thinks is okay. Maybe Tsunade-sensei and Shizune-sensei think differently but they encourage his way of looking at things a little sideways. "I would have to do a whole lot of tests." He's read up on all the tests, and not all of them are applicable with chakra. He doesn't want to even think of how much effort it would take to make a new patient history.

Shizune smiles, sweet and pretty, "Yes, very good Naruto-kun. Do you want one for answering correctly?" Like usual she pulls out one of those familiar lollipops.

Only once has Naruto asked why the two of them carry them around, but the upset on their faces had made him reconsider ever asking again. He nods and takes a blue one this time. He's hoping to get through all of them before Tsunade-sensei gets serious about his muscular training. Apparently everything so far is still _basics_. He shivers in horror at the thought of what will be _not basics_.

"Now, can you get me Akira-san's file, Naruto-kun? Tsunade-senpai has him in surgery today." Shizune asks.

And like that, lollipop quickly inside of his mouth, Naruto rushes to continue.

(Only later, much later, when the three leave the village, does Naruto realize that those were all D-ranked missions, and the sum that lays in his hands is no laughing matter)

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

"You stayed longer than I expected Tsunade-chan," The old man says.

Shizune presses a finger to her lips at the sight of Naruto.

Naruto quiets even though he's baffled. He hasn't seen the Third for weeks, at least a month if not two. He's a bit surprised only Shizune sees him, but he supposes Shizune expected him.

Tsunade-sensei doesn't look happy, arms crosses and eyes narrowed, "That was before I learned about Naruto." Her words are barely polite and Naruto can feel the way her chakra fluctuates in a very familiar way but stronger than when she's just annoyed--she must be more than just annoyed.

"Ah, yes, perhaps it would be best if you finished your training with him. Another two genin have passed the tests successfully and they could use another team-member." Sarutobi says with a hint of steel in his voice.

Heart clenching, Naruto looks at Shizune and shakes his head. He doesn't _want_ another teacher or another team. He's lucky, and he knows it. Tsunade-sensei and Shizune-sensei treat him well, they train him and go back over material he doesn't understand. They work him to bleeding but he knows it's out of fear--the plus side of his chakra sensing exercises is chakra can express more than just an attack; jutsu, chakra focusing, reflexive actions, internal and external healing, and even emotions are all accessible--though usually it takes him more than a few minutes to focus on someone's chakra. It's getting easier with how familiar he is with his two teachers.

"You think I'm taking one of my most promising medical students and giving them to a lazy ass like Kakashi?" Tsunade sneers and narrows her eyes. "Sensei you forget who exactly is in control of the Hospital. I may not be in the village but we both know who made and improved the Konoha medical field. You threaten me again and I won't come back for these yearly visits."

Sarutobi's spine straightens and it's only the way his chakra tenses so tightly that Naruto _knows_ Tsunade crossed a line, "I see. Then I will be taking him as he is Konoha's Jinchūriki. He is not yours anymore Tsunade. I wish it didn't come to this. You have a month before Team Seven is ready to form." And then he's gone. Just like that.

Tsunade's glaring daggers at where he once was. Her eyes prickling with unshed tears. "Naruto-kun come here."

Head spinning, Naruto wants to ask so many things--and cry, definitely, no he _is_ crying. eyes wet and cheeks hot to the touch.

Shizune is immediately at Naruto's side and wiping his tears away, "I think today would be a good day for dango and sake, Tsunade-senpai." She stands up and Naruto only realizes when he meets Tsunade's eyes that Shizune lifted him up.

Any other time Naruto would be pretty against being carried--he's almost _eleven_ and has more training than most civilian kids, but the contact is appreciated and the warm palm of Tsunade, and gentle chakra lessening the heat of Naruto's cheeks is such a new and wonderful thing he wants to remember this moment forever. Cool medical chakra is why Naruto notices he's not just crying but full out sobbing. Deep wracking sobs that make it hard to breath. For the first time his regeneration can't seem to keep up with his bodily reactions.

"We have a lot to talk about Naruto-kun," Tsunade says, and leads Shizune and Naruto to a dango shop--it's not nearby and in fact it's...out of the village. Two towns away.

If Naruto was walking or running it would have taken at least an hour, but the two medics are there in under ten minutes and seated in less then five.

Shizune orders while Tsunade bites her thumb and looks at Naruto and then back towards the windows outside showing endless fields of grass and tens of trees bunched together in odd patterns.

"Where are we?" Naruto hiccups, anything to avoid the odd silence that's fallen between the two of them.

"Shira, it's near Kusa and Konoha's borders. They say my grandfather died here. And that's why trees stubbornly grow even though historically only grasslands were here." Tsunade smiles fleetingly as she usually does when she speaks of her grandfather. "I believe it too, considering how stubborn he was, his chakra going back into the earth would be just the sort of thing he would do."

Naruto stares at the trees and tilts his head. He doesn't quite get it, but he nods along.

Shizune comes back with dango and sake, dropping the plate and bottle with gentle care. "I'll be back, I need to find a room for us," She's gone once more.

Frowning Naruto rolls the dango-stick and looks up at Tsunade. "What's a Jin-chūriki?" He wants to ask more like _Are you really leaving_ and _I don't want to go to Team Seven_. He can already suspect who's on Team Seven, there weren't exactly any others in his class that were so determined to graduate. Or rather there was one more other person who wanted to graduate, and the other would surely follow him.

"You know about seals." Tsunade says, brushing her bangs away to show her's. She's already promised to teach him how to seal once he has better chakra control. Has even mentioned something about Uzumaki seal-healers and needing to look for more information.

Naruto nods, holding his breath.

"Mine holds chakra. You already know that chakra has many forms. Some are even sentient or enough cause sentience," Tsunade pours sake into two small saucers and slides one over, "You might as well have one, drink it slow or you'll never want to try it again."

Eyeing it distrustfully; Shizune had skipped ahead and given Naruto all the facts about alocholics and liver damage, Naruto admits he's curious enough to take a cautious sip. Shivering, it's not _bad_ , but certainly not something he wants to drink regularly. He mulls over what Tsunade-sensei just said, "Like your summons. Shizune said they were once just animals."

Tsunade grins and it's that expression that Naruto craves seeing on her face; pride, pride in _Naruto_. "Exactly. But there are other things. Like the Bijuu. I told you about them once." she says and she's testing Naruto this time, if he recalls.

Thinking hard, Naruto swings his legs, and is glad that Tsunade allows him this. It's hard for him to think straight when he's still. In motion the world makes a lot more sense, and it's probably why Shizune throws questions and facts at Naruto while Tsunade pummels him into the ground. "Ah..your grandfather. Hashirama...Senju! Senju Hashirama, the first Hokage. He...uh," He trails off squinting and swinging his legs a little harder. Something...something about peace?

"Peace! He sealed the Bijuu to create peace. No--wait, his wife! Oobaasan Mito." Naruto grins cheerfully and he tries to pretend the tears haven't started again. He wishes he had known the First Hokage had an _Uzumaki_ as a wife. He feels a little cold at the realization someone connected to him and yet the Village still treats him like..well, bad is one word for it.

A flicker of a smile on Tsunade's lips before she lets her chin fall onto her palm, elbow resting on their table, "I would love to see her face when you call her that, kid. But yes, good job, brat." She's abandoned the little saucer and started drinking from the bottle now. "She's the one who sealed the Bijuu, and sealed the strongest, Kyuubi inside of herself, and of course since she's not with us anymore..." She trails off waiting for Naruto to figure it out.

It takes a lot longer this time. Naruto knows Oobaasan hadn't lived much past Hashirama's death, and her death would have weakened Konoha, or at least that's what Shizune had said...

"Eat your dango, brat." Tsunade murmurs, and she _steals_ one.

Naruto glares at her, and eats two in a row, chewing furiously. Think, think, Oobaasan died eventually some said from heartbreak but Naruto disagreed, Uzumaki were strong! Look at Tsunade-sensei she had survived her team disbanding, and from Shizune's quiet comments, a few other terrifying ordeals. And she was only a quarter Uzumaki!

But if Oobaasan had eventually died Konoha's bijuu would be gone...which meant someone else had to take over as the seal... "I'm a seal." Naruto mutters aloud. Staring at nothing. His dango falls to the plate. He has a bijuu in himself. A part of himself likes knowing that. knowing that he's in a way even more connected to a person of his Clan, but another part suddenly understands all the hateful glares, the horrible treatment, the way the teachers refused to teach him properly.

Tsunade must have moved because a muscular arm is wrapping around Naruto's shoulders and holding him close, "You are not the Bijuu, and you are not _just_ a seal. You're Uzumaki Naruto, medic nin in training and a pain in my ass." She presses a kiss to his head, "And what's inside the seal does not make the whole of a person. If that were true _I_ would be on the verge of being a chakra-being by now." The joke doesn't exactly fall right but it still makes Naruto snort.

The warmth and comfort of Tsunade helps the revelation. It also makes Naruto wonder how Sarutobi could keep this from him. Calling him the _Oldman_ sounds wrong. Especially now when he wants to take the best two things that have happened to Naruto in his whole life.

"We have a month." Naruto says, feeling far too sulky about this when there's the whole being a _Jinchūriki_ that should concern him but it's like Tsunade-sensei says he's not the Kyuubi and then that settles matters. He hardly thinks she would be so blase if there was something wrong with the seal.

"No, you have a month to learn all the things you'll need to to disappear." Tsunade tells him, and then hugs him tighter, "You think I'm giving up my second best student to a Village that doesn't want him? Did it once not again." She doesn't explain who she gave up or when but all that matters is the resolve in her voice.

  
  


When Shizune meets them at their hotel room she has several books open and a series of notes that make Naruto's head spin but the other two seem to understand it well enough. "Time for a cram session, Naruto-kun." Shizune says and the glint in her eye is _scary_.


	5. Chapter 5

If Naruto had thought training was hard _before_. Now it's ten times worse. Even his regeneration, which he learns is thanks to the Kyuubi, barely keeps up, he gets more broken bones in the first week of training _after_ the Third's visit then any of his other training sessions throughout his entire life. But he told Tsunade-sensei to give him _everything_ and she delivers. Every spar is up against a _Sannin_ , and a combat medic.

Training Grounds Eleven gets a reputation for loud explosions and earth shaking is the normal around the grounds.

Shizune isn't any easier on Naruto, teaching him all the organs, their functions, how chakra interacts with biological functions; what it can do right and wrong. He's drilled to the point that Naruto gets perhaps five hours of sleep a night.

There's no time that Naruto _isn't_ with the two women and it's possibly why they get him to finally move in with them. It's not something Naruto even notices at first, too busy trying to accumulate to the sudden workload. Especially realizing it's working. The rough pace is improving his fighting style and chakra capabilities and memory retention in leaps and bounds. It's like Naruto _thrives_ when the difficulty is ramped up.

Tsunade and Shizune's smiles and pride filled looks grow rarer but they mean all the more when they happen because of _Naruto succeeding_.

  
  


"Again." Tsunade says, and her voice is full of steel. Her eyes are trained on Naruto.

Naruto who's trying to get up and groaning in pain. Channeling chakra so that it falls in line with his muscles and moving body is _hard_ but it's also the next step to him gaining the same efficiency and power in one finger that Tsunade has and some taijutsu specialists have to use their whole body for. He gets up after a moment of aching agony. He gathers the chakra from his core and spreads it into his muscles; soothing them with a twinge of medical chakra and then rushing forward.

The Academy techniques for reinforcing the body with chakra have nothing on what Tsunade and Shizune have done to the art. Like this Naruto feels weightless, his body moves sometimes faster than his eyes can keep up with, but he's learning. This time when his feet land where Tsunade was, he's ready. He flips backwards, barely dodging a strike of heel meeting earth; spins down and right leg surging with chakra, no where near the finesse of teachers, but it's enough to destroy the rocks rising and coming back to the earth. Not fast enough to even clip Tsunade-sensei.

"Try harder!" Tsunade's fist almost meets Naruto's exposed chest and he has to fling himself away with a burst of chakra. Her blow causes the earth to roil and rumble.

With gusto, Naruto does, he meets Tsunade again and again, she pushes him back onto the water, onto trees, and even the broken earth that she created. The battle feels endless, but Naruto continues because he has been training for a week now and is _determined_ to prove to his teachers that he's worth disobeying the Hokage for. That his family is worth all this pain, training, and studying.

  
  


"You would have killed him, try again," Shizune says, and it's not said unkindly but she's quick to point out Naruto's mistakes in a far less gentle way than before.

The fake doll in front of Naruto fritz out with it's seals (made by Tsunade and Shizune years ago; "Old models, old man can't even keep up with my research, the bastard." Tsunade had muttered ferociously), slowly he has to reset the seals, and not just by a simple touch of chakra but repainting the broken lines and Naruto admits it's a clever way to find people adept at sealing who might be able to learn Tsunade's hundred strength seal.

"Once more. Good clean lines, Naruto-kun, very good." Shizune-sensei says and there's a smile on her lips again.

Naruto grins back and focuses on the work. The patient is around thirty, a shinobi, a broken leg, but when Naruto had tried to heal him it had ended with death...

  
  


"How many people, Naruto-kun?" Shizune asks.

This cafe is in the village this time. Apparently their outing had been noticed and Sarutobi had _not_ been pleased. So their conversations are usually unencumbered with anything serious unless they're in Tsunade's ancestral home.

"Five?" Naruto frowns and concentrates, this time thinning his chakra even more, ("Like droplets of water, Naruto," Tsunade had said, forming droplets of water from thin air just like her Great Uncle had apparently been able to do), slowly siphoning the extra and reeling it back into himself. It's difficult but finally he's satisfied with how thin the 'bubble' is and sends it outwards.

 _Six other costumers, five shinobi across the street, one - two- three - four_ , The strain is gettting to Naruto but he focuses letting the bubble thin a little more and sending out another this one isn't as smooth as the other but he's learned if he does it just right he can piggie back between the two 'bubbles' to make a better sensing experience, _five- six ANBU hiding about_.

"Six!" Naruto says and blushes at the beaming smiles he gets in return. The meal of thin slices of meat, and vegetables would be disappointing considering he hasn't had dango in two weeks, or any sweet for that matter--but Tsunade and Shizune know the best places for take out, and it tastes _delicious_.

  
  


Their spar is a three way. Naruto dodges another of Shizune's senbon, and flicks his hands into familiar seals. "Suiton: Watery Grave" He wishes he had the control for low class jutsu but this is one of the few ways for him to burn off enough chakra to work on more delicate work later in the day. Using B, A, and rarely, S rank jutsu to eat up the frankly ridiculous amount of chakra inside of his system.

The water around the trio surges and rises into wide five foot waves and crash down.

Unsurprisingly Tsunade and Shizune dodge. To make matters worse they team up on Naruto and send him plummeting into the lake's depths.

But Naruto is an _Uzumaki_. Which means he never gives up.

 _Never_.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Tsunade-sensei says they may be healers but they are also _shinobi_. So she and Shizune leave on the last day of the month.

"Remember Naruto-kun we're not leaving you, we have to pretend." Shizune runs a hand through Naruto's hair which has grown (okay maybe it's grown a little more thanks to his medical knowledge and a little manipulation of chakra; and if it's to look like Tsunade-sensei it's no one's business but his own).

This is the part of the plan Naruto doesn't like. Even when Tsunade-sensei had called it a delayed prank. Which, surprisingly, they have encouraged him to up once they leave.

( "Not only is it a good cover for our disappearance from your lives," Tsunade murmurs, rolling a sake bottle while pacing, "You'll need to hone that ability well. Nothing dangerous we don't want you locked away when we come back for you.")

It's the words _Come back for you_ , said so casually; no one has ever said them to Naruto and he knows with certainty (and a bit of chakra sensing) that every word is true. It's also true that the two hate leaving him. Their chakra rolls inside of them in the same way that the lake starts moving after a fierce sparring session.

"Give them hell, Brat." Tsunade whispers, running her own hand through Naruto's hair, "Also, maybe put it up so your dipshit of a sensei doesn't pull on it." She says and then only a second later Naruto is sporting a very tight bun of hair.

Naruto narrows his eyes at Tsunade, but mostly to keep the tears at bay, "I won't let him touch it." He's got his pride as a budding field medic to account for. If anyone catches him then he's failed his own personal mission of healing his team.

"Tsunade-senpai," Shizune's whisper is almost inaudible even though she's only a few feet away.

The two blondes look up to see Sarutobi standing grimly at the gates. The ANBU around him are a nice touch, Naruto thinks viciously.

"Old man, you better take care of my nephew." Tsunade calls and ignores the whispers _that_ causes in the nearby civilians who are watching the Princess of Konoha leave once more.

Hokage hat tipped a little too low to see, his fingers are still visible and they're white from the strain he has on the hat.

  
  


The attention from Tsunade-sensei's _Nephew_ comment is unnerving. Almost over night everyone's opinion is a little _less_ hostile. Oh it's not like Naruto's treated like a long lost Prince but he's certainly not kicked out now that he's by himself like before Tsunade and Shizune.

In fact people even try gifting him things. Thankfully all food that Naruto can check for poisons (a long list that Shizune had drilled into his head at least five times) before consuming them; or giving them away (because it feels a little too much like bribery when it's not his teachers giving him a lollipop).

"Ah my adorable little student, you're late for training." Kakashi, Naruto assumes, says out of the blue one day.

Naruto's been meditating on the water. One of the best ways to exercise his chakra control--not only is he working on sensing life forms weaker than shinobi in the water (though it's surprising anything still lives in the lake after all the chaos he and his senseis have done to it) but holding himself up carefully as the water moves this way and that, and keeping his clothes from getting waterlogged.

It takes every bit of hard earned concentration not to start sinking in thanks to Kakashi. Who's standing at the shore of the lake without his pervert book (or so Shizune had claimed).

"Kakashi-san." Naruto replies standing up and walking to the shore. He can't feel his supposed new teammates but he's also heard about how Kakashi _loves_ being late.

"Maa, maa, not sensei? My third genin has no respect." An audible sniff is heard through the mask Kakashi wears, "Well, come now, Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun are waiting."

Considering what he remembers of the two, Naruto is _pretty_ sure neither of them like those suffixes at all. But he obligingly follows. He's mildly curious about his old classmates, but he's more restless about just how long until his teachers come back. He doesn't even _know_ so that it's more believable when he disappears into the night.

  
  


Sakura and Sasuke are...fresh academy students. They move at a snails pace compared to Tsunade and Shizune, and Naruto knows he's not like his teachers but he can't help whining in his head about it.

 _So unfair, I could be training with Tsunade-sensei right now_ , Dodging another of Sasuke's fireballs isn't difficult, but Naruto also refuses to show all his abilities. He doesn't trust Kakashi, definitely still remembers how Sakura and Sasuke treated him, and wants to keep as many things hidden that Sarutobi hasn't dined to notify Kakashi about. Like how his fingers itch with the urge to center chakra and numb Sasuke's legs so the other boy will stop trying to fight him.

 _One dodge, and he freaks out about being stronger. What would happen if I punched his arm in two_. Naruto's no where near Shizune's strength yet but he's working on it, and he knows he can break a log clean in two with enough chakra in his fist.

"Alright, Sakura-chan switch out with Sasuke-kun." Kakashi says and once again there's no book, just a shinobi watching the three of his students intently.

"A-against Naruto?" A grimace forms across Sakura's face.

Sasuke of course ignores the suggestion and keeps going after Naruto.

Who decides enough is enough and ducks at the pivotal charge from Sasuke. The sound of the boy falling into the river near Team Seven's training ground is rather satisfying. Naruto barely keeps the grin to himself and checks on his bun. Not a hair out of place, he could only imagine how much hell he would get for messing up Tsunade-sensei's work.

Sakura's spar ends almost the same, but Naruto is lucky enough to get Sakura's kunai to strike Kakashi's book.

When Team Seven goes in for their first D-rank no one but Naruto has a smile on their face.

  
  


The first prank goes without a hitch. Naruto is pretty proud of it, the whole of the First District of Konoha is flooded two days after Team Seven forms for the first time. Even better every civilian clan member who lives there (The Sarutobi, the Hyuuga, and the few remaining Senju that are non combatants and mostly carry the name through marriage) swear they saw Tobirama-sama yelling about something in the middle of the tide. No one is ever close enough to hear exactly what he says.

Naruto can’t even be blames for it, while he _does_ know water jutsu, every one of the genin teams currently in Konoha (including his own) are currently helping the local farmers in the southern portion of Konoha with Komatsuna picking.

Genjutsu-laced Fuinjutsu is harder than Naruto thought it would be but he has a complex array of knowledge and perhaps it's being an Uzumaki, or just how well of a study-demon Shizune-sensei is, but backtracking into Genjutsu and Fuinjutsu together had been easier than he thought it would be. At least for an illusion that only civilians would feel; otherwise the prank would have never succeeded.

Now, what about Hashirama-sama? Surely seeing him in another district would cause even more distress.

Naruto tables it after another second of thought. He wants Sarutobi to know that he’s mad, and the water prank could be blamed on him, but if Tobirama _and_ Hashirama appear they may start suspecting Naruto has absorbed more from Tsunade than they suspect and his teachers are right on one thing; Naruto doesn’t plan on being stuck in a cell for his pranks when his teachers show up.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, Kudos are all lovely.
> 
> As an aside;
> 
> Amal is a long standing reader since the age of thirteen; he/him pronouns, he loves anything to do with fantasy and sci fi as long as it's not painfully heteronormative/albiest/homophobic/intentionally very dark/gritty. He also has a ridiculously needy pup by the name of Little Bear.
> 
> Out of all the things Amal wants to do is put as much good into the world as he can before he meets Anubis.
> 
> You can find more of Amal's silliness/writing at;  
> [Wordpress](https://enchantedtalisman.wordpress.com/blog/)  
> [Tumblr](https://enchantedtalisman.tumblr.com)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ForlornGriffon)
> 
> ~All the love friendlies
> 
> ~~Black Lives Matter, and ESPECIALLY Black TRANS lives matter, and if you don't think so please do not read or interact with my works.


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